April showers bring anxiety

Spring thunderstorms, yet another thing I have a love/hate relationship with. I love the rain on my windows, the rolls and echos of the thunder, and the way the clouds look when lightening shoots through a midnight sky. I hate the tornados or even the threat of tornados. I hate to hear the weanh weanh weanh of the emergency broadcast system coming on my tv. And I really hate when this happens at night. The last time we had tornado warnings I stayed up until they were over at 5 am. The anxiety that this weather phenomenon causes me is ridiculous. I know it is ridiculous, I have a plan if one comes, I know what to do. I know I over-react, I guess you could say tornados are my phobia. You'd think that I live somewhere in tornado alley having such irrational fears but I don't. The tornados we get are pretty small and typically don't last long.

When I was around 4 or 5 a tornado came blazing right through our side yard.It was thunderstorming one minute and the next thing I know my mom is yelling at us to get into the hallway and shut all the doors. She then went to get my infant brother and cousin from her room at the front of the house where they were napping. She didn't make it in time, we heard breaking glass and the loudest roar ever, the description of a freight train doesn't do it justice. The pressure in the house was insane, my ears kept popping and hurting. It didn't last more than a few seconds. When it was over we tripped over each other in our mad dash to check on the babies. They were both on my moms bed still sound asleep! It was so calm, it wasn't even raining anymore so we went outside to investigate. The massive oak tree that was in our neighbors side yard had been blown onto their roof. We saw her coming out with her 2 kids to see the damage as well. The roots were so huge that they stuck up way above our houses. The sky looked so odd to me, it was yellow-ish and you could almost see the clouds above still slowly swirling as if it were a dragon wanting to spit one last breath of fire. But it was dead calm, you couldn't hear a sound. There were no birds, crickets, frogs, no rustle of leaves, no bees. I remember it was a really eerie feeling and I didn't like it much. No one has hurt but it set the tone for me for life. Looking back on it now I suppose we were pretty safe, we had a concrete block house which is a lot more safe than the wood frame house I live in now.


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